the fight

it is like constant noise. it is not like screaming. it is like a constant rushing of loud static. it is like the point where you cover your ears and wait for it to end. it stops you from normal thought and distracts your attention. things are said and done that are not logical. things in the name of nobility, integrity, etc. but really, said in the name of needing an excuse. a way out of answering for behavior that is obviously out of character... outside of the norm.

this is not guilt. this is fear. fear of what true consequences could come. fear of thoughts being heard. fear that something that starts like a spark will become the raging fire. this is the fear that comes when words and actions wobble on the top of the rail. this is not a tangible issue.
this is the struggle for courage over cowardice. this is the fight to save face. this is the fight to become the ideal, instead of remaining the same.

this is the time to fight. through the noise. through the thoughts. through this battle.